Today has been super eventful and its only 1:00!
Last night I weighed and measure myself (JT actually measured me) all because I have started the Advocare 24 Day Challenge. Today was my first day. The first part of the challenge is a cleanse. I watched a YouTube video over the challenge and a lady explained the cleanse like, "cleaning the lint from a dryer." By lint she means all the crap that I've eaten and by dryer she means my intestines. This was also described as a "calm cleanse" and that I "wouldnt want to spend my entire day in the bathroom." Both of which I think are lies. "Cleaning your lint" is not pretty. Think about when you pull that little trap out in your laundry room, particles fly everywhere no matter how careful you are...there's always repercussions. This is how I am feeling right now. Although I have not felt like my ass was going to fall off of my body, I do feel like I should be allowed a port-a-potty near my portable for a few days.
The morning begins with a cleanse drink. Its disgusting. Also from the helpful video I watched I was told I could mix orange juice in with the water and powder to give it more flavor. I think I did too much orange juice because all it tasted like was pulpy orange juice...think rotten pulpy orange juice. I decided to slam the drink like a tequila shot. And just like my first tequila shot, I cried after I was done. This shit better work.
Classes were wonderful. Kids were doing an informative speech about someone famous and how they became famous. Surprisingly, they rocked it and turned in their essays and did their presentations today! (Yes I could be considered a horrible teacher for making them present on a Monday, or I could be celebrated because they had longer to wikipedia their person.) My favorite is when they come in with their amazing excuses about why they had not completed the assignment, that was assigned a week ago. The assignment that they had 3 days of library time to work on...in class. The assignment that they wrote introductions to as a grade one day in class. Yeah...that assignment.
"Coach, I left to go home early and left all my stuff here so I didn't finish."
"Coach, can I present tomorrow so I can make my speech longer?"
"My Internet wasn't working at home so I need another day."
WRONG. You are the weakest link...Goodbye! (None of them would understand that reference)
"You may not have another day to work on your speech. It is a miracle in its self that you are even in class today."
Moving on to other fun things...
I caught a mouse today. Ok well I didn't literally catch it in my own hands but I discovered it.
For the past 3 months we have been battling the mouse in our athletics office. He ate cookies and pooped all over the place. Apparently at some point, someone came and laid down one, yes ONE glue trap. As I was reading I could hear some rustling under the bench in our office. I looked over and after further investigation I found him. Or her. We will just call the mouse IT. IT was stuck to the glue paper and looked to be trying to do the jerk, or having a seizure. I was paralyzed in fear. What if IT pulled its self off the glue paper?! All I could imagine was watching it give one more heave-ho and then BOOM blood would gush everywhere like in a Quintin Tarantino movie. Like when they blow the guy's head off in the backseat of the car in PulpFiction.
That never happened, the blood gushing everywhere.
After a couple minutes of waiting for IT to just lay down and die already, IT never did. I had to call for backup. The maintenance guy came and took the glue paper away. IT was never seen again.
FIN.
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